About Me

Look, anyone can call themselves a coach, and even an “expert.”

So you may be curious about my Relationship Resume.

My Love LinkedIn, if you will.

It all started in graduate school, when I was training to be a psychotherapist by day and diving head-first into online dating by night. This was when I first began to notice the parallel between personal growth and relationships – like, here I was in literal seminars about Freudian psychology, but I was learning just as much about my inner world from eating burritos with Bachelor #49.

Then in my internship years, I focused on eating disorders and addiction.

I didn’t know it at the time, but this work ended up being vital to the way I understand relationship coaching now.

Because here’s the record scratch:

The recovery world is THE place to explore vulnerability as a superpower.

It is THE source for experimentation around the things that actually motivate behavior change.

And it is THE forum for balancing consistency and evolution, selfishness and generosity, and so many of the powerful polarities that come up in all our relationships.

So as I got more savvy with couples work, and studied the approaches of thought leaders in the field, I noticed a huge opportunity.

The big question I lived and breathed was this:

Once we learn the information about how we “should” communicate, how do we motivate ourselves to make those changes, which are usually prettyyyy far out of our comfort zone and go against decades of conditioning?

And the super-juicy question behind the question?

What if we used everything we know about willpower to catalyze changes in the places we need it most?

Because of course things like quitting smoking and maintaining "Inbox Zero" are important.

But what I realized as I got into a committed relationship was the potential ripple effect of using my willpower not just for my nighttime snacking habit, but also for interpersonal challenges, like overriding defensive impulses and staying curious about a difficult truth.

Honestly, I’m fairly independent, but my partnership is still one of the most foundational, impactful elements of my life.

And because of my work with couples, I know that I’m not alone in this.

So the more I realized how much our love lives have the power to impact the way we show up in our careers, in our friendships, and even how long we live, the more I became obsessed with bringing the same discipline and devotion that we bring to our work and our workouts to the realm of relationships.

And BTW, this disconnect was not just something I noticed in the therapy world.

I also worked as a professional matchmaker with a global firm in 2019. Our clients were multi-millionaire CEOS who had willpower in spades when it came to Barry’s Bootcamp after a ten-hour day. They had the courage to speak at Davos and the EQ to create complex partnership agreements with diverse leadership teams.

But, just like most of us, they had never been taught to apply those strengths and capacities to the realm of dating and relationships.

Meanwhile, as all these pop rocks were exploding in my brain, I was also in the nebulous nuances of starting my own business and I found myself mega-magnetized to marketing philosophy. Not surprising, really; yet another field with decades of fascinating research around how we can be motivated to take action.

When you think about it, the most effective marketing approach overlaps with the wisest relationship advice; it’s centered around things like building trust by being vulnerable, truly wanting what’s best for both parties, and being willing to walk away from a transaction in the service of integrity.

We can’t fake these things, in business or in pleasure.

But we can build the circumstances that support them.

When I started my coaching business, I knew I wanted to go beyond insight and "I" statements. I wanted to revamp and expand the possibilities for what relational work could look like. No shade on the basics; they're a great foundation. But I wanted to focus on what I, and only I, could bring to this work.

So welcome to a space where a relationship reorg can happen over email, where puns are prayer, and where creativity is greater than compromise.